Cancelled.

Off days are precious. Jewels and gem stones of priceless nature. It sucks when you waste an off day.

This weekend (yes, the weekend! One of those glorious rare occurrences!) I'd planned to cook dinner for my whole family. The idea was to get my Popo to teach me how to make her Nonya dishes. She's such a fabulous cook especially when it come to all things Peranakan. When she used to cook every week for Sunday dinner, the house would be packed with my relatives. Her dishes are famed throughout my very extended family. Reaching even to the farthest corners of my Australian relatives. Babi ponteh. Chicken curry. Assam fish. Ngoh Hiang. My Popo is the queen of my stomach. She cooked me into life.

It's been awhile since she's cooked though. She is getting old and less able to cook for all of us without a lot of help. Now I feel like I was two hours late to prom and missed half the party (true story!). When we were young my sister and I used to run around the kitchen and end up getting chased out. Now I regret not paying more attention when she cooked. I am a Nonya who grew up not knowing how to cook proper Nonya dishes. Oh what would my mother-in-law say!

The idea was that me and my mother would do the cooking and my Popo would guide us and supervise. We'd planned this last week and I was telling all my colleagues and friends and I got super hyped up. Only to be let down tonight. My plans are being set aside for other things and also my mother wants a "lazier" weekend. It might sound irrational that I got as sad as I did but hear me out.

After starting work I really start to appreciate the simple things. The others in my family might consider it a chore to cook and clean but for me it's like...how do I even explain it? Some sense of normalcy. You'd think on my off day I wouldn't want to cook anything at all but when I do get a mood it's like fire. I can cook because I want to not because I am told to. AND I get to be the chef of my own kitchen FINALLY! These days hardly anyone cooks. We all end up just eating out. But I miss the event that was Sunday dinner and cooking real home made sexy deliciousness. It's not the first time and it's not the last that we postpone things. It's a shame that only I seem to feel our culture slowly slipping away and being replaced by sloth and fear of a little extra dirty dishes to wash.

I feel like my family takes things for granted. Since I see them less I feel like I miss them more and put more meaning into our conversations. It's like getting a pair of glasses for the first time. They see each other so often they think of it as tiresome and a chore. And then a little bit more and there is gossip and family disputes. If they could only see what it meant to me to come together and eat and spend time learning from my Popo. All this mundane activities they find boring are the things I sort of miss doing.

Alas! I shall yet again be abandoned in disappointment. Plus the nagging guilty feeling that I'm the new generation the oldies complain about. The ones who forfeit their past like adding water to assam pedas gravy. So diluted.

I will probably still go over and make kueh but Popo will probably be at work and it still won't be the family dinner I was hoping for. Ugh! I abhor cancelled plans.

:(

My uncle was planning to cook for all of us on Sunday so we were all planing to meet up for a big family dinner. I was excited until my mother decided that Friday would be a better day to have the family dinner since it's the 100th day of my grandfather's death. Now I'm not going to be there because I'll be at work. 

"It's okay we'll keep leftovers for you." says my mum. 

God bless my uncle. He and I said at the same time, "It's not the food."

They warn you about these moments when you miss your family and friends but it never gets easier. Oh well, I guess it's another night alone pigging out on leftovers while everyone sleeps.